Campus crime update: a cited skateboarder, a jaywalker and a litterbug

Skate, Die or Lie

While on patrol Sept. 27, officers observed a skateboarder at Burk Lane. Officers made contact with the subject and he was cited. To make matters worse, this little shredder was also charged for providing false identification to the officer. Come on man, what are you trying to hide? You’re already negatively stigmatized as a hooligan with your four-wheeled satan stick, but get your bearings straight and learn how to keep the 5-0 away. Must be how he rolls.

Don’t Cross Me

Officers viewed a subject illegally crossing the street at South State Drive Sept. 28. Upon review of the subject’s records, it was determined that the gentleman had an active felony warrant out from San Francisco County for possession of burglary tools. Steal this piece of advice, sir: However minute your jaywalking act may have been, you should probably stay under the radar if there is a warrant out for your arrest. This sounds like a repeatable mistake, which is a lot like tripping over your own feet — it’s avoidable with a little attention.

This Is Trash

An officer took a case regarding a subject who threw trash over the fence onto University property at Lake Merced Boulevard Sept. 28. Is this really necessary? Where does the importance lie in taking a case number involving littering? There are much more shocking events taking place on campus. Maybe officers should take a trip to Cafe Rosso and write down some case numbers involving how students get milk all over the condiment counter because they don’t know how to properly pour cream in their coffee. Talk about a thirst for justice.