Most of my family is insanely conservative and racist. Since I only see them once or twice a year, I usually forget how terrible they are, and once I finally see them, I am shocked by their ignorance. Luckily, I won’t have to endure that shock this year.
For the past couple months, I have had to listen to presidential candidate Donald Trump spew his ridiculous beliefs, and his words are almost verbatim what my family believes. For example, like Trump, my family loves the idea of a walled border. But my cousins worry “the Mexicans will just stack their bales of marijuana on top of each other to hop over the wall.” They’re two racist peas in a racist pod.
Besides a few billion dollars, the main difference between my family and Trump is their platforms. My family only spouts their racist musings to their Facebook friends and the 20 dogs living behind their trailer homes. Trump has a national platform where he can say all the racist and misogynist things he wants. And this Saturday night, that living pile of melted orange crayons will have NBC’s “Saturday Night Live” as his newest political platform.
NBC shouldn’t give that melted CPR dummy any more coverage then he already has. Earlier this year, NBC dropped Trump’s Miss Universe show after the grown-up Chucky doll made racist comments about Mexican immigrants. Now, five months later, NBC completely forgot what he said and decided to let him host their classic sketch comedy show.
If a singer or actor called any group of people rapists, they would be blacklisted in Hollywood, not rewarded with an “SNL” hosting gig. But because this pile of human pubic hair is running for president, he’s excused.
“SNL” thrives during election season, and NBC is using Trump, a living swamp creature made of Cheeto dust, for an obvious ratings grab. They could have just put him in a single sketch like they did with Hillary Clinton in this season’s premiere, but they know having a racist Mr. Potato Head host will bring in ratings. Trump, the only man to have Little Caesar’s pizza grease pumping through his veins, is bound to say something crazy, and NBC knows people will tune in to find out what.
This isn’t an attack on Republicans. John McCain hosted back in 2012 and it was fine. McCain’s character and politics are better than Trump’s, and more importantly, he was the actual Republican candidate. Trump is just a random, soiled pile of meatloaf that hasn’t even earned an official nomination yet.
I hope the actual episode just ends up being an intervention for the collective of orange hamsters that makes up Trump. The cast will sit him down for an hour and a half, explaining to him why he’s so terrible. Unfortunately, I know it’s not going to turn out that way. Trump is probably going to make fun of himself to show that he can take a joke. Then he’ll call a few people losers and fire a few others. Some viewers will think that it’s so cool that this congealed ball of macaroni and cheese is in on the joke and able to poke fun at himself. It shouldn’t matter how well Trump can deliver a punchline or how many viewers NBC can pull; anyone who spews as much misogynistic and racist bile as Trump shouldn’t be provided such a huge platform.