Illustration by Reid Cammack
After a recent shuffle at my boyfriend’s house, he’s moved into a room with only one other person instead of two. I couldn’t be more excited about it, because that means I won’t have to wake up to a chorus of farts and guttural snoring whenever I spend the night. The last time I was there, the door of his old room was slightly ajar, so I backpedaled to get a better look at what had become of it.

Much to my regret, I was immediately smacked in the face by a stench so strong I could taste it. Neither of the brown-stained mattresses had sheets, blankets or pillowcases; the hardwood floors were hardly visible under the knee-high mounds of reeking clothes, and their cat was licking his paw on a desk littered with ashes, Backwoods wrappers and stale food bits.

Seeing the twisted expression of horror and disgust frozen on my face, my boyfriend’s housemate breezed by and said, “Yeah, their crust-punk man cave is pretty fucking gross.”

While I think it’s perfectly acceptable, and even healthy, to have separate spaces where one can enjoy time alone, the gendered language around “man cave” is pretty gross. It takes a passive dig at femininity. It’s as if women are such burden that they’re restricted from that zone, while still expected to readily share all other spaces.

A man cave is essentially an emotional sanctuary for men to escape their responsibilities without the interruption of women or children. It’s as if these men are victimizing themselves and require refuge to revel in their false sense of masculinity.

Sports-related paraphernalia and wall hangings that deify cheap beer are not badges of manhood or some sort of homage to a working-class collective consciousness. They’re the makings of a shrine to big business that has man-cavers nostalgic for a time when they were happy, or actually just drunk, in front of a screen cheering on their favorite billion-dollar sports team with their once single and similarly childless friends.

Guys should get over the feudalistic idea of a man cave allowing them to be the “lord of their manor” in a room they can call their own. It bears a juvenile likeness to a tree house with a sign that reads, “No girls allowed.”

The sewing room or craft room, to which a woman might retreat, is identified by the action that takes place there. By that token, a man cave is a place where a man devolves into a grunting subhuman that leaves sexist and racist comments on message boards, then furiously masturbates to free porn.

As an introverted person, I feel most productive when I can take a break from interacting with others to be alone with my thoughts. I completely understand that some ‘me’ time is necessary for most people to function. However the term man cave feels more like a space where someone goes to hide from their problems while surrounding themselves with things that make them “happy.” I wouldn’t want my partner to feel like I was hindering them from of living the way they really wanted to in a home we created together.

The progressive solution is allowing everyone to have his or her own space. In a household where that isn’t possible, the ever-so encumbered married man could actually leave his house. He could be free of his cave and take a walk, go to the gym, take a fishing trip, relieve his stress through meditation on a misty mountaintop in China. Man-cavers can be better than ruminating within their disgusting patriarchal myth.

388 thoughts on “Man caves perpetuate patriarchy”

    1. 27-upvotes on this comment. “I don’t understand why you keep calling us misognystic, gosh! Stop being so sensitive, gosh!”

          1. “The sewing room or craft room, to which a woman might retreat, is identified by the action that takes place there. By that token, a man cave is a place where a man devolves into a grunting subhuman that leaves sexist and racist comments on message boards, then furiously masturbates to free porn.”

            A “man” can have a sewing room!

          2. Do you call it your powder room? Does it have a fainting couch with dollies on it?
            I bet you dust it every day.

          3. The one he’s insulting brought up the subject of sewing rooms. That’s what he was referring to.

            And what’s wrong with gendered insults as long as each gender has them?

          4. only if you’re sexist enough to believe men can’t/don’t sew…

            stereotype much there, you sexist pig?

          5. I have never met a man in my entire life who would utter the sentence, “‘Sewing room’ is a gendered insult.” C’mon “Jeremy”, admit it. You are packing a uterus, aren’t you?

      1. It’s related to the anger of normal men seeing a woman act foolishly. In a society where men are depicted as idiots and women as suffering sages (think Simpsons and The Family Guy), foolish women go to foolish colleges to learn how to be angry at men. Men are tired of this crap and stupidity.

    2. Insults do not make your opinion valuable. Suggests you might have a chip on your shoulder [size/premature issues ?], so not qualified to express opinions.

      1. Oh, chicksplainging … I like that one! I usually use femsplaining myself, but chicksplaining carries with it such nice undertones!

      2. Perhaps personsplaining would be less offensive to those who need “safe spaces” to avoid anything they might find offensive?

    1. Fred, there isn’t anything left after this response but smoking shoes where the OP used to be.
      Well done.

  1. The whole reason for the concept of “man caves” is that women control the rest of the house.

    Gee, I feel sorry for you – it can’t be easy finding new things to be offended by.

  2. Wow. I mean… WOW.

    So, in your search for perpetual offense, right out of Alinsky’s playbook, you’ve decided to hone in on “Man Caves,” as your cause for Alinsky Rule 13:

    “Pick the target, freeze it, personalize it, and polarize it.”

    You are a ridiculous person. I hope your boyfriend realizes that before he decides to spend one more minute with a creature such as yourself.

      1. No, the person means what they said. They had a reasonable and correct response to the article, unlike most of you idiots who used it as an excuse to continue to try and propagate this misinformation campaign against feminism.

        1. Holy fuck, this this is why everyone makes fun of reddit. I guarantee this guy’s Facebook is full of “Why do women date assholes” posts

          “I’m from r/feminism guys!”
          “Stop your misogyny at once”

          Go back to your echo chamber of hugging and crying, white knight fedora man.

          1. Hahaha no, it’s made fun of for being a Liberal shit show where crybabies get to censor people who don’t make agreeable comments, JJ. That’s the reputation you people have.

          2. “Brogressives”! Magnificent term! I hadn’t heard it before, but thanks for it.

            And good on you in this thread too. Yikes, some of the responses you receive are downright medieval.

  3. You aren’t worth the time to write a serious rebuttal. You think anyone really calls it a man cave in the first place? Long story short, you aren’t entitled to your opinion. Your only redeeming value is that you’re going to self-destruct from constant triggering. Something that doesn’t happen to normal women – you know, ones with actual problems. Only feminists.

    Throw away your keyboard.

    1. Yet she was the worth the time it took you to write this comment. How quaint. You can see how the two ideas are contradictory. Perhaps it is you who should throw away their keyboard, sir.

      1. You don’t deal in ideas. Just snide quips. That’s why feminists have to be judged based on the clowns and not on the handful of actual intellectuals.

    2. Again, this was posted on /r/feminism and most people there disagree with her. Feminists are not a homogenous intentity; we are individuals with our own, unique opinions. Also, if you think these positons are so impossible of actually creating change, why do you devote so much of your brain power to having such a anti-feminist position? I wonder why that is.

      1. Here’s a tip, Jeremy: The idea of man caves perpetuating the patriarchy is not a feminist idea. It is an abstract absurdity, and that’s being generous. It is seeking offense where there is none.

        And if you think there is one person on the planet earth that is going to “change” based on a intellectually bankrupt opinion piece about the patriarchy and man caves, you possess a world class level of naivete.

    1. High maintenance seems like an understatement. It would be like dating Scarlett O’Hara.
      Man caves don’t need to be disgusting, but girls don’t need to be complete scolds. Nobody wants a scold.

    2. I believe he’s already begun distancing himself. Thus the room.

      And is anyone doubting that practically every word there is an exaggeration?

      I’ve seen/heard women freak over a misplaced doily as making the room a Mess and a Ssot of food crust on a kitchen counter making the kitchen Filthy.

      But if she described exactly what was there, we and many women would all recognize her type and what she was about and ignore all the rest. Which was the real reason for her screed.

      Her fear of the patriarchy about to make it’s temptations and reasons for existence more readily apparent to the point where she either has to make some changes and become an object of male desire and stop being a nag or reject him completely and invite a future filled with cats and girl friends with really short haircuts and plaid shirts.

      Her’s is a cry of desperation and future rejection.

      1. Note; looking this girl up, I find that she is most likely that hot girl in you knew in school who always got everything she wanted. Everyone wanted to be her friend, all the guys wanted to “date” her and she got perfect grades.

        Never had a clue what real life was really like because hers was a perfect princess kind of one.

        Those types have usually one of two types of personalities.

        One goes along with their cuteness and smarts, they’re kind and funny and they try to bring a bit of brightness into everyone’s day.

        The other is the bitch from hell. sneering and condescending, acting as if her perfect life is her due and how come you’re so stupid you don’t have a perfect life too? Nasty and mean but with a crust of attractiveness and sweetness that she can turn on and off like a light.

        No way of knowing which one she is just from this article. This could’ve been a parody.

          1. I’d call her hot. Heck, easily an 8, possibly squeaking in a close 9. A Hawaiian beauty. But, she lacks some big tatas.

            Can you imagine if she sees this post? Here’s she is, whining about men and their wanting a little space, and all we do is rate her between 1 and 10.
            LOL!! It doesn’t get any better than this.

    3. I dunno about that. I checked her on google images. She’s actually extraordinarily cute, despite her progressive stupidity.

      She wants a clean man and a clean house, I get it. But a man cave is a man cave. Beer, sports, chips, and parties. Sometimes we men need that space, hehe, our “safe space” from all these female micro-agressions.

      Edit: A few more google images shows her in a very cluttered room. She’s a hypocrite. An extremely cute hypocrite, but one none-the-less.

  4. Shorter version: the entire house should be what the woman wants it to be, even the man’s “personal space.”

    Kalani’s boyfriend: it’s not too late to get out of this one. Run, don’t walk.

    1. I could speculate that there’s a reason he’s not living with her instead of his current arrangement, but that might be considered a “micro-aggression”.

      1. i’d speculate he only exists in her imagination… given the dearth of normal men in Frisco, the few that live there can afford to be picky, and have no reason to have to put up with an emasculating shrew.

    2. That’s not what she suggested. She suggest he not be a fucking pig while there as well as select a new term to call his play room. ‘Play room’ for example. Again, I want to reitterate that I don’t agree with her; I’m saying your guys’ overreaction is ten-fold more ridicuous than hers.

      1. Who is she to “suggest” his behavior in his own effing room or what to call it? That’s the point most are making here.

        1. Right, and I agree she overreacted. I’m not defending the article. I’m saying people are equally – or more so – overreacting to it negatively.

          1. She overreacted and is getting the comeuppance for that. Is it strident, yes. Is it warranted, probably not as much as is given. But that should be a familiar concept for you to grasp, when a population ‘feels’ it is being taken advantage of they often have an outsized reaction to the level of offense.

          2. Just stop it everyone!! You’re not responding to this article in the way that little pussy Jeremy wants you to!!

      2. We understand there was a lack of hygiene. This could have been a funny article if Erma Bombeck had written it. Instead the perpetual anger of the Left comes through – and ruins everything.

        1. Seriously, who expects Crust Punks to be clean?! This article should be about how Crust Punks need to take a shower and clean their places up…

      3. And your assumption that she has no agenda for her descriptions. Given her references to the Patriarchy (a construct used by radical Feminists to justify their paranoia) I’d say that unless this is a parody that she’s got some “issues” and one of them is that she’s not getting the attention she demands/deserves/craves and this is her passive aggressive way of fighting back. (note that this thing appeared in a campus newspaper. Guess how here boyfriend feels about now?)

      4. I’ve read through several pages of your comments, and if you are not “Kalani Ruidas”, I’m Truman Capote.

      5. Have you seen her pics out on the net? As cute as she is, her pics show her in cluttered rooms, assumingly, hers.

      6. If he wants to call it a man-cave, he can call it a man-cave. If he wants to eat potato chips, drink beer, and fart while watching football, he should be able to do it. Who is this girlfriend to tell him that what he is doing is wrong? Are you honestly telling me that she doesn’t participate in “micro-aggressions,” as I’m sure this author would term them, against men? For example, “By that token, a man cave is a place where a man devolves into a grunting subhuman that leaves sexist and racist comments on message boards, then furiously masturbates to free porn.”

        She’s a hypocrite, pure and simple.

        1. It’s that vagina – backed by the police powers of the State that foster such arrogance and hubris.

      7. I agree with you.
        Internet is becoming more toxic.
        But then again i too have my days when i simply do not feel able to take one more thing without getting ‘overreactious’.

        1. The more this easily offended garbage goes on, the more toxic it will get. I love stories like these, they get people angry, and then angry people vote Trump. WIn Win

      8. God I hate this puritanical generation. I am a neat freak and I am probably not neat enough for this shrew

  5. What garbage. “The progressive solution is allowing……”. Some good ol’ fashioned passive-aggressive fascism there.

    Please don’t breed.

    1. Am I the only one that finds irony in someone calling someone else a facist for a different opinion, followed by a call for eugenics?

      1. A different opinion. That’s hilarious! All you see in media lately are feminists talking about how everything is misogyny. A different opinion would be saying that there’s nothing sexist about this, but then, Ms. Ruidas would be out of a job, wouldn’t she?

        Also: is begging someone not to breed the same as eugenics?

        1. You live in an echo-chamber. and I sincerely question how much “media” you consume.

          Is it? I don’t know, but it is certainly teetering more toward the pro-eugenics side of the fence, can’t deny that.I’d avoid that fence all together.

      2. What are you, her boyfriend??? Requesting that someone doesn’t breed is not a “call for eugenics”. But, by all means, keep on with YOUR hyperbole. It makes all your grandstanding, and hypocrisy, all that more entertaining.

        I would request the “no breeding” thing from you, but I’m actually hoping you’ll get together with a shrill, SJW harpy and have an emasculated life (since you’re already one the way to one).


        1. My masculinity has little to do with my enjoyment of life and if that isn’t true for you, I’m sorry. That’s sad.

          1. And you don’t have to enjoy your masculinity, but many men actually do enjoy theirs. All most want is the ability to express that enjoyment without judgement and condemnation.

          2. You are really the author of this piece intellectual waste, aren’t you? You are Kalani Ruidas in real life. You up-vote your own comments because no one else does.

          3. Please stop. This failure of a thought experiment cannot be saved by anything, let alone a lone dissenting commenter. The entire collection of people that have now read this, agree in virtual unanimity that the idea lacks merit of any kind. There is no defending this.

  6. Maybe it is just the one place in the house where a man can have things the way he likes, with no argument.

  7. Just be quiet. I mean, really, just be quiet. You haven’t a morsel of independent thought and identify with a generation that can best be described as dilettantes lacking a moral compass. You’re an obviously angry person who lives a life focusing on what you don’t have and you’re bitter and jealous for what others have worked hard to achieve.

    Your vapid column reminds me of the advice I grew up with…”Better to remain silent and be thought the fool than speak and remove all doubt.”

    1. I thought you morons loved free speech? Why are you telling people to be quiet? Also, that little idiom is pretty common in the south. You should do what I did and FORGET most of the things you “learned” from family and friends growing up. This one comment tells me everything I could possibly want to know about you – I know people just like you and they are all fucking knuck-draggers.

      1. He’s not telling anyone to be quiet. He is suggesting that sometimes it reflects better on oneself to self censor dribble like this article.

          1. “Better to remain silent and be thought the fool than speak and remove all doubt.”

            I am sure you didn’t miss this.

          2. You mean ” boring, unoriginal and unconvincing” as in “posing as a guy to defend your own column”?


  8. Girls who prattle about “patriarchy” have severe Daddy issues.
    Dump this Harpy, the sex can’t possibly be good enough to endure this psychopath.

    1. What sex?
      When she sleeps over at his place, either someone else is in the room, or walls are so thin noises travel unimpeded.
      Unless she gets her jollys performing in public, I’m guessing their relationship is more cuddle than romp.

    2. I’m not a girl and I believe in patriarchy. Do I also have daddy issues? Or is that just women? Oh wait…that couldn’t possibly be the case or else what you just said is sexist and we both know you’re definitely not a sexist.

        1. I also believe the sun will rise tomorrow, but I don’t worship the sun. I also believe you to be a fucking asshole with a low IQ; you know, since we’re establishing everything I believe and pretending that all belief is the same as blind faith.

          1. Yeah, he’s been upvoting most of his comments. Really shows that he’s an insecure little man, doesn’t it?

          2. “I also believe you to be a fucking asshole with a low IQ”
            Spoken like a fuckstain looking in a mirror. You really should deal with your “daddy issues” (or, “mommy issues”, as you seem to gravitate so much towards feminine aspects) before you attempt to berate others.

          3. You just used “feminine” as a pejorative. But again, you’re totes not a sexist. Why don’t you guys just be honest and admit you’re sexists? Would be a lot easier than pretending you’re not because the label makes life uncomofrtable for you.

            Same goes for you, Nordo – though I can’t tell if you’re a sexist or just dumb – insulting my manhood. See. That actually doesn’t bother me at all. Probably because I’m not insecure. I literally could care less about how manly I am. Especially if you’re the scale.

          4. Everyone I just figured it out: “Jeremy” is really Kalani Ruidas. It makes perfect sense right? Here you have an insecure student who believes in safe spaces and exposing everything she disagrees with as sexist, racist, homophobic, etc. So of course someone with that type of world view doesn’t have any self confidence or ability to simply be, rather they have to get a fake name and have an ongoing dialogue with readers who called out her useless drivel.

            Kalani, this is pathetic. Get off the comment board and go find your next article to on how mysoganistic men are.

          5. It’s pretty plain that “Jeremy” is the author of this piece using a sockpuppet to defend ixself by pretending to be a man who supports this idiotic premise. No one else would so vehemently defend this idiocy. You’re busted, girl.

          6. You believe the sun will rise tomorrow? And you have the nerve to call someone a fucking asshole with a low IQ?
            Damn, that is funny!
            I believe you have serious gender issues and that drives you toward feelings of guilt and self loathing.

          7. And here we go with the ad hominems. You can always tell when someone has run out of arguments, they start attacking by name calling.

            You’ve really let your mask slip now Jenny.

          8. Yep, you definitely are the waste of space who wrote this poor excuse for an article. Welcome to the real world sweetie, there ain’t no safe spaces out here

        1. Matriarchy has existed in multple places throughout history. I’m saying I believe patriarchy exists in America – right now; if we were to have a debate about the topic, I’d reckon you’d get laughed off the stage for suggesting that matriarchy ever existed in the West, even if you could convince people that patriarchy’s CURRENT status in America was dubious.

          1. Maybe looking into why no matriarchies ever evolved organically would be a good idea. Even women don’t like being led by women.

          2. It is true that women don’t like being led by other women. Women nit-pick each other in ways that men don’t do. Women also get on each other’s nerves in the workplace. My girlfriend told me last week, “Put me in a job with a bunch of men and I’d be fine.”

          3. You can’t believe in Patriarchy. It either exists or it doesn’t. And it may exist but not be what you think it is.

            Belief has nothing to do with it.

            What you do believe in is that it is/was a negative and as presented by radical feminists as some sort of conspiracy against women (and mostly lesbians) aimed solely at the enslavement of woman kind for eons.

            And somehow now and only now have women found the strength (and time) to fight back.

            You really need to do some objective research into the so called foundations of the “Patriarchy” as enumerated by Feminism and it’s distortions and the actual historic reasons for the existence of much of it for reasons other than the enslavement of women and the ascendancy of Men.

            Real research where you also check the agenda of the writer of the history looking for any hidden agendas on their part.

          4. If we were to have a debate about the topic, we’d live in a serious society that discusses serious topics like grown ups. Especially at institutions of higher learning.
            The new improved America is none of those things.

      1. Go google the sex breakdown of homeless, suicides, workplace deaths, highschool dropouts, sewage and garbage workers, and prison terms for the same crimes, and then get back to us about how much better off men are in America than women.

      2. You “believe” in Patriarchy.
        That says it all.
        Do you also atone for your microaggressions at the Women’s Studies Center every week?

  9. AAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAhahahahahahahahahaaa!!!… This is one of the funniest Onion parodies I’ve ever read.

    It’s a parody, right?

  10. Is this a parody? Nothing about this could possibly be taken seriously. It berates and insults using “traditional” gender norms while purporting to attack them. It’s self-contradictory, declaring personal spaces are important while declaring what those spaces cannot be used for. No, this is fake. Has to be.

  11. Great freedom will come when you grasp the simple concept that you can choose whether or not to be offended. Until you do so, you will remain a victim. Nobody likes perpetual victims, and I would not hire one. Grow up.

      1. Uh, no, Jeremy. I wouldn’t hire someone who is intent on perpetuating a destructive culture of victimhood. Unlike those of the #SJW class, I welcome the very free exchange of ideas that speech codes seek to mute… even in my man cave!

        1. “I welcome the free exchange of ideas as long as they do not contradict mine or make me uncomfortable, because, gosh darn it, THEY’RE too sensitive.” Yeah, I think I’ll live not getting a job at Otto’s Burger Barn.

          1. I was asking Jeremy. Of course he wouldn’t want to hire a person like that which is why it’s ludicrous for him to dismiss your comment as an example of fearful close-mindedness.

          2. Remember that ‘false equivalency’ thing from earlier? I think equating people who want MORE rights for MORE people with a group (or groups) who literally kill anyone they don’t like – for insanely arbitrary reasons like orientation and/or skin color – probably qualifies as one.

          3. I don’t think Jeremy cars too much to defend his positions. He seems more inclined to concoct “my” opinions.

          4. Those are clearly your words, not mine. When one advocates the prohibition of certain phrases because one decides that they wish to be offended by such phrases, and somehow that individual’s self-created “safe space” is used as a mechanism to stifle honest discussion, then I will quite enthusiastically challenge their attempts to intimidates me into silence. So, why are you against the God-given, inalienable right to freedom of expression, my little friend Jeremy?

          5. There is no god. And if there were, I’m pretty sure it wouldn’t be a white-human-male, but you probably don’t know that since in your head, you’re god.

          6. I defend your right to believe that with every fiber of my being. Do we then not have an inalienable right to freedom of expression?

          7. Your only discernible argumentative technique seems to be in attributing unflattering characteristics to those with whom you disagree, Jeremy. Your ad hominem attacks are silly. That said, I applaud your confident belief in no god, and I will defend your right to believe that with every fiber of my being. But why is it that you seek to degrade the inalienable right of freedom of expression for others through the use of speech codes, etc? A and since you brought it up, if our natural rights of life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness do not stem from God, exactly from where do they derive? And are they inalienable, or can a government of men rightfully and legitimately deprive is citizens of them?

          8. I do believe in God, and I am equally as confident that I am not it. I also applaud your right to NOT believe in God, and I defend your right to do so with every fiber of my being. Now, moving past your regrettable ad hominem attacks, do you nevertheless believe in the inalienable right of freedom of expression? Also, since you bring up the subject, if God indeed does not exist, then from where does freedom of speech and our other natural rights (life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness) stem? Or for that matter, assuming you correct and God does not exist, are such rights subject to the whims of the populace and therefore subject to legitimate dismissal from government? Is that why you so willingly sacrifice them at the altar of political correctness?

          9. Your ad hominem attacks notwithstanding, let’s assume you are correct and there is no God. Do you believe that an inalienable right to freedom of expression exists, or is such a right subject to popular whims? Can a government remove that right from its citizens without rendering itself illegitimate? Still waiting on a reply.

          10. Got it. No God. I defend your right to believe that with every fiber of my being. Do you nevertheless believe in an inalienable right to freedom of expression? If so, from where does it derive? If not, do you instead believe that The rights to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness are man-made and therefore can legitimately be taken away by man-made government’s?

  12. How did you ever get even one boyfriend? You clearly have some kind of giant insecurity issue. “Man Cave” is most likely some kind of marketing jingoistic name thought up by stoned advertising workers trying to sell men their products. No adult human male I know with a job and a family claims any kind of “man cave.” Grown men have their houses and they pay for all the stuff that is in them. Women on the other hand seemingly spend all of their time looking for dumb crap to worry about. Most women somehow just can’t stand prosperity. They have to find a way to be aggrieved. Someone must be belittling them, a man must be doing something to hold them back. They just can’t really be this miserable and worthless on their own….it has to be a man’s fault somehow. Women surround themselves with ridiculous “feminine” items all the time; 47 pillows/stuffed animals on their beds, doll collections, bureaus and closets full of dresses, blouses, skirts, pants, hats and shoes they almost never wear. entire tractor trailers full of beauty and hygiene products that are all mostly just animal fat or alcohol in some form. In general women are the biggest hoarders on earth…you guys make pack rats look positively spartan. So if a grown man wants to have some sports memorabilia and a big screen tv in one room of HIS F#@KING HOUSE. What possible reason could you have to complain about it. I have a suggestion for you and all the other women who just can’t stop themselves from haranguing men who are just trying to live their lives with some joy and happiness. MIND YOUR OWN FU%@ING BUSINESS. This country has somehow forgotten that eminently sage pearl of wisdom that almost every child in the world is enriched with by his or her parents. The key to getting along with other humans is to not attempt to judge or instruct them on the manner in which they choose to live their lives. You either accept it and coexist happily with them or, you remove them from your life by never associating with them. I mean what could be simpler? It really is just that easy. Women for whatever reason just can’t abide simplicity. Everything has to be a drama in five acts with deep psychological undertones. Well life isn’t that complicated…and quite frankly neither are you.

    1. Stop oppressing her with your rationality, logic, and intelligence! These are tools of the patriarchy used to bully womyn!

      1. You know, it’s kind of hard to say you’re not a misognyst when you literally say no women can use logic or reasoning because of one overzealous article. You may be right about an overreaction in this case, but all those other times you thought people were being too “sensitive?” Yeah, you were probably wrong and an asshole.

        1. Except that’s not what he said at all. He’s obviously referring to feminists, not women. Common logical fallacy that those of your ilk routinely make is to equate the two.

          1. Pretty sure he said women (or womyn, to be exact), not feminists. But, let’s pretend he meant feminists. He’s still generalizing an entire group of people based on one article. I’ve said this over-and-over on this article, but this was posted on /r/feminism and the people who’ve posted there have almost unanimously agreed she was reaching.

          2. “Womyn” is a term that is used exclusively by feminists. There is absolutely no question about his meaning.

          3. It’s a term that is used by feminists to make fun of the way some men talk about women; the irony of him using it to make fun of us is kind of hilarious don’t you think? Especially since the term isn’t even that prevalent. It’s like the whole “mansplaining” thing; most feminists do not use these terms. Their phrases that are sometimes used by younger feminists on blog sites, who are full of piss and vinegar because they just found out how shitty the world is. It’s like when you first become an atheist, you’re really mad at religion, but as you get older and get used to your own beliefs (or lack thereof) you mellow out and become more reasonable and try to find actual solutions to problems.

          4. That’s not at all why feminists use that term. The term was created to separate the word for the female gender from its supposed patriarchal roots.

          5. Should we point out every crazy person to exist from every crazy group to show how fucking crazy this comment is?

          6. These aren’t just random crazies though. They are figureheads who were highly formative in both 2nd and 3rd wave feminist thought.

          7. You are the one who made the sweeping statement, genius. To quote you: “. . . but as you get older and get used to your own beliefs (or lack thereof) you mellow out and become more reasonable and try to find actual solutions to problems.” It’s really not my fault that you believe your own nonsense.

        2. I think you’re being too sensitive right now. Does that make an asshole? Could be. Do I care at all? Lol.

          1. Why do you dislike the idea of trigger-warnings so much? Do you really care so little about people on this planet that you don’t care if they’re caused pain by being reminded of past experiences? I feel sad for you.

          2. Of course I care. Just not enough to go out of my way to censor my speech to avoid any of the countless billions of subjects some special snowflake can find “triggering.”

          3. You care more about the words that you get to say than the victims of horrible crimes? Trigger-warnings aren’t censroships, they’re recommendations. You’re literally opposed to someone making the recommendation that you take other’s feelings into account. You realize that’s pretty sensitive, man?

          4. “You care more about the words that you get to say than the victims of horrible crimes?”

            Yeah, pretty much. I expect adults to be able to deal with topics they might find uncomfortable instead of running away from them.

          5. Declaring yourself ‘offended’ is announcing to the world that you are incapable of controlling your own emotions and must demand the world do it for you.

          6. Trigger warnings are a vehicle used by emotionally immature people in an bald attempt to control other peoples speech. Advocates of same have co-opted psychological terms that are associated with severe PTSD to claim that they NEED these “trigger warnings” and “safe spaces” to avoid emotional trauma. It’s all BS quite frankly; most of those making the claims haven’t had any trauma greater than their phone running out of power, or their charge card being denied at the Mall, or getting a “C” grade when they thought they deserved an “A”. It’s really about power and making others do as they say. Thoughtful people who’ve suffered real trauma have the class and good sense to not force others around them to bend to their will, nor do they flaunt their PTSD as some sort of victim badge in order to make others do their bidding. Real PTSD sufferers don’t hold others accountable for their emotional reactions to triggers, either. Grow up, Jeremy, you are an embarrassment.

          7. “Jeremy” has made 50 comments in “his” entire comment history: all on this one thread. It’s almost as if “his” account was created to defend this article. Hmm.

    2. Man cave isn’t a marketing term. It used to be the garage or shop. In the era of McMansions and cheap large screen TV’s, it moved into the basement. It is simply somewhere that is not decorated or appointed by a woman, and where the owner of the remote is clearly understood to be the man.

    3. If she’s who I think she is, she’s really quite cute. Has an asian/Hawaiian thing going for her as far as looks. Kalani that is. I don’t know what Jenny looks like.

  13. While no serious man would live in filth as this authoress described, the estrogen-addled femsplaining is so very tiresome as to render it incredible

  14. I Googled her name to see if she was a parody writer and found her high school writing

    Her profile reads in part “This year, her senior year, will be pivotal in deciding whether she will remain a slave to the printed word beyond high school or whether she will spread her wings and fly away to new horizons to a happier and more mentally stable life.”

    Looks like she failed that goal if this is serious.

  15. The comments on this are juvenile and vitriolic. If you don’t like the content of the article, try making a cohesive point by point counter-argument expressing that disagreement. Snarky comments do nothing to contribute to the discussion and show that the commenter has no interest in changing anyone’s opinion. They just want to piss on something.

    1. When you write articles as ridiculous as flat earthers who argue that the earth is flat, then expect to get laughed at. No one here is trying to change anyone’s opinion, we know that is impossible. The people who write stuff like this are so far gone, that they are very unlikely to be pulled back to the world of sensible opinions.

      1. Except we can objectively prove that the Earth isn’t flat; this is an op-ed, you know, an OPINION. Most people agree it was a overreaction, but you’re seriously trying to compare it to goofy conspiracy theories? Please Google ‘false equivalency.’

        1. Wait a second, you’re going to lecture him on false equivalency right after you incorrectly equated feminists with women?

          1. I didn’t do that. You thought I was talking about one poster when I was referencing the one who plainly said women (formatted pejortively as: womny).

          2. Yes, you did you moron, and I knew exactly who you were referring to. That’s the point. You responded to a person who was making a comment obviously directed towards feminists and used that to accuse him of misogyny. Thus the only logical conclusion is that any negative comment made against feminists is misogynistic.

          3. So again, tell me why flat-earthers are at ALL like this writer of this article who wrote an overzealous and somewhat silly piece about “man caves”?

    2. Reactionaries just react. They don’t use their mind and realize that just because she overreacted in this article doesn’t justify all of their misguided, anti-feminist rhetoric. They just want something else to point to and say “look at them silly feminists, mad about something else.” They’re looking for talking points, because that’s all “eaglelibraraians” and “brogressives” have; a bunch of talking points to fuel each other’s already established positions.

      Never change. Never evolve. Always protect the precious status-quo.

  16. I want to meet the editor who said, “fuck it, let’s run the Man Cave piece, that’ll get them talking.” He had to know it was trolling, even if Kalani was serious.

  17. You said: “A man cave is essentially an emotional sanctuary for men to escape their responsibilities without the interruption of women or children. It’s as if these men are victimizing themselves and require refuge to revel in their false sense of masculinity.”

    So what do you think about safe spaces for women? Isn’t a safe space just an emotional sanctuary for women to escape engagement with men? Its as if these women are victimizing themselves and require refuge to revel in their false sense of superiority.

    You said: “Guys should get over the feudalistic idea of a man cave allowing them to be the “lord of their manor” in a room they can call their own. It bears a juvenile likeness to a tree house with a sign that reads, “No girls allowed.”

    Maybe girls should get over the immature idea of a safe space allowing them to be queen of the castle in a room they can call their own. It bears a juvenile likeness to a tree house with a sign that reads “no boys allowed”.

    And by the way, that bit about women retreating to sewing rooms or crafts rooms was pretty offensive. Are you suggesting that men don’t do those things? Are you suggesting that women don’t like to sit in front of a big screen TV and play video games? I think you need to carefully examine your toxic notions of gendered stereotypes. I am sure your University has a course for that.

  18. Oh, where to begin….
    First of all, if your BF has his own place, with a bunch of other dudes, he’s not in a “Man Cave”. That’s a complete misappropriation of the term.

    A “Man Cave” has traditionally been a retreat for a man in a committed relationship to set up his own area that reflects his own interests, whether they be sports, video games, or a large collection of dusty philosophers. It’s called a “Man Cave” because the rest of the house is considered the domain of the woman, to organize, decorate, and present however she prefers. The “Cave” connotation is because, being left to the man’s devices, its often less organized than the woman would prefer, and “cave” is more ‘PC’ than “pigsty”.
    A man traditionally has no problem with the woman joining him if she so desires. Indeed, its also a place where she doesn’t have to worry about maintaining a ‘presentable’ area, and can relax, yell at the sports team, throw chips, or do whatever other juvenile behavior she is willing to indulge in with him. “Man Caves” are the result of marital compromise, not uber-macho harkening back to “Lord of the Manor” memories.

    Secondly, the comment about the message boards and porn shows more of your ignorance. “Man Caves” aren’t the equivalent of the “bloggers in the basement”. To suggest that they are is insulting, and shows your underlying uncomfortable resentment of masculinity.

    Third, I gather you have a bit of a controlling personality. You’re trying to dictate to men what interests they should have, and where they should be allowed to indulge in them. You don’t like “man caves”, so you list a number of things men should do as an alternative–presumably that you find enjoyable.
    Some men like watching sports. Not all women do.
    Some men like video games. Not all women do.
    Should the man who likes these things impose them on an unwilling partner but taking over the living room, simply because it’s “wrong” for him to respect her dislikes and keep those separate? Or should he completely give up his likes for her sake, because it’s “wrong” for him to have a separate space within the home?

    Fourth, how, exactly, is a “Man Cave” in any way a ‘dig’ at femininity? If anything, it’s self-depreciating to men! “A man’s home is his castle.” Yet, within that “castle”, men are regulated to a “cave”. It’s a tacit admission that, even if their relationship falls into the tradition of the man as ‘head of the family’, the woman rules the home. She gets the trappings of the civilized “castle”, and the man is relegated to a “cave”–the one place where he doesn’t have to be ‘civilized’ within his own home.

      1. She seems pretty happy. My salary’s enough so that she doesn’t have to work. I go to the gym a lot and girls blush or play with their hair if I talk to them, so pretty sure I’m no uggo.
        BTW, are you sure you’re a guy? If so, my condolences to your wrist and forearm.

  19. I’m more offended that parents still can’t seem to teach their boys how to clean up after themselves. What is described in the article is not a man-cave. It’s a man-child mess

    The idea behind a man-cave isn’t so much a retreat for men as it is a room that can be decorated however the man likes so that the rest of the home can be made more attractive. In my own home, I have a room where I can put up all of my knick-knacks (I am not into sports), have some of my hobby stuff laying around, and even a video gaming rig for friends and my son. The rest of the house I keep tidy and tastefully decorated for guests. My wife and I both have similar tastes so we maintain the house together. She also has an area for crafts.

    1. Another reasonable response, but then again, this is from a man who actually has a stable relationship and isn’t some lonely neckbeard on the Internet screaming because women wouldn’t talk to them in school.

      1. HAHAHAHA! It’s so funny how as you constantly lose arguments you resort to ever more petty comments. Sure isn’t very feminist of you to make fun of how someone looks. You know, positive body images and all.

        1. That stache is a choice. A very unfortunate one. By the way, I have definitely not lost an argument; no one will even reply to my questions or tell me what their position is aside from “lol feminism.” The one guy who “sort” of engaged me quickly admitted that he wanted to live his life like it was the ’50s with a submissive and docile wife.

  20. The man cave is a creation of the matriarchy, not the patriarchy. It’s where women make us put our wagon wheel coffee tables.

  21. I love how “women” like this want men to always “get over” something. How about no. We don’t want to get over being “lord of the Manor.” Most men don’t dare say they are King of the Castle or Lord of the Manor anymore. They are happy to have a space of their own where they don’t have to moderate their language or behavior to keep some special snowflake from being triggered. Unless the woman can pay for the house all by her lonesome then we get some say in the living arrangement. Most men have ceded the entire house to the “lady of the house” except the basement or the garage. These storage spaces make perfect sense, because all of his prized possessions are there anyway as they are not allowed in the house. They offend the delicate sensibilities of women like Ms. Ruidas. I love how her sewing room is perfectly fine, but all men are apparently racists and chronic masturbators. Well I will concede the last one, and Ms. Ruidas should get over herself and understand that a life of masturbation will win hands down against a lifetime of nagging that a relationship with her would entail.

    I’ll take one of these over some nagging wench any day.

  22. “He could be free of his cave and take a walk, go to the gym, take a fishing trip, relieve his stress through meditation on a misty mountaintop in China. Man-cavers can be better than ruminating within their disgusting patriarchal myth.”

    He could do those things, but he would eventually need to return to his apartment, where he would still need a place of refuge from the neurotic and extremely annoying woman he’s dating.

  23. It must be so unpleasant constantly having to grind that axe of yours. It’s not all about you, lady. Get the hell over it and realize that not everything revolves around you.

  24. They’re colloquially referred to as man caves because women don’t require the same amount of privacy and solitude that men do, nor in the pursuit of activities that are traditionally carried out in said caves. But if you want to have yourself a womancave or an androgynous gender-fluid cave then go right ahead.

  25. I don’t really agree that the idea of a “man cave’ in any way opresses women either — and I say that as a feminist ally. More troubling, however, is the comment section of this article; it’s disgusting that you idiots can’t express why you think she is wrong without attacking her and feminism as a whole. The article got posted on /r/feminism and most people DISAGREE with the writer and generally find the idea of a “Man cave” to be harmless; I actually get where she’s coming from only in the term, but there are a lot of silly terms that have been attatched to things over the years. I have no doubt originally the term came from the idea of having to get away from that old “annoying wife”, but nowadays people are perfectly aware it’s just a place for guys to put their shit and watch movies/sports, etc.

    Back to the commenters, stop generalizing and stop hating people for having different opinions, especially when they AREN’T harmful, like, at all. Yes, sometimes people DO see offense where there really isn’t any, but that doesn’t mean that you should dismiss that person and their entire idealogy as “wrong” or “bad” because they see something that no one else does. I’m an Atheist and found the whole Starbucks thing confusing as hell and pretty silly, but I didn’t dismiss ALL Chrsitians as crackpots who get upset over cups of having snowflakes.

    The majority of feminists are reasonable people who genuinely want to help BOTH genders reach a place of equality; I think Kalani missed the mark with this article, but I think her intentions were pure and while intent doesn’t out-weight bad ideas, I don’t think we shoudl disqualify her from the conversation for writing one article that some perceive as a reach. We’ve ALL acted irrationally from time to time out of passion. Have some empathy.

      1. You know I almost wrote a reponse to you, but then I realized that I don’t really need to ellucidate on the stupidity of someone who uses the term ‘white knight’ unrioncally.

          1. And here you are, still trying to be reductive of other’s positions without ever arguing against them. You won’t even respond to direct questioning. You’re right man. You couldn’t possibly be wrong. The world couldn’t possibly be flawed or dispropotionately favor one group over another. Everything is great the way it is.

          2. Argued against plenty of your opinions already. And what’s this about not responding to direct questioning? Mind pointing out where you asked me a direct question? Oh that’s right, you haven’t.

          3. Dude…

            “Instead, I’ll just ask you this: doesn’t it say more about you than me, to suggest that I can’t have a pro-woman position without having alterior motives?”

          4. Fairly certain you edited in that question after the fact. But to answer your question, ulterior motives aren’t necessarily motivations for a white knight.

            Oh, and what the hell is “alterior?”

        1. Hey Jeremy, I see your comments sprinkled all around this page. You probably don’t want unsolicited advice from the likes of me, but I’m going to give you some anyway: You are much too late to the party to try to salvage any honor or dignity on behalf of the author of this silly piece. It’s nice of you to try (though highly patriarchal of you to run to the defense of an embattled woman, as if she can’t handle her own business without your old-fashioned misogoyny-dressed-up-as-chivalry help), but in this case you are embarking upon a campaign that you are ill-equipped to wage.

          1. I think I’ve done a pretty good job making the idiots come out of the bush and make themselves look as stupid as their original comments first indicated. Hopefully someone who would’ve agreed with them see their argumentation – or lack thereof – in the face of criticism and realize they shouldn’t align their opinions with such idiocy. Thanks for the unsolicited advice though, it was highly comical. Especially the homage to Fox News’ brand of “no you’re the racist” argumentation. Genius.

          2. In the battle of wits here, you are the one who is unarmed pal. It’s probably time for you to retreat back to your safe space.

    1. She attacks the only “safe space” for men in their own home as a place for racist, sexist, and juvenile behavior and expected no umbrage? Everyone is free to express their ideas and idiocy on line and get the feedback from that expression. Hers (and apparently yours) is a ideology that thinks men are all racist, sexist, misogynists. And yes I know the textbook definition of feminism, and that isn’t what most men see as the results of that philosophy. If you think feminism holds men’s interests at heart, next time you are around a group of your allies tell them “I don’t want my wife to work. I want her to stay home and take care of the home and to be there as a helpmeet.” Then see what their reactions are. I bet they are unkind. And that’s the problem, a lot of men do want that kind of arrangement. Where’s feminisms voice for those men, the men that like the traditional gender role of “king of the castle?”

      1. You really don’t understand what equality is do you? If you are into “traditional gender roles,” then you need to find a woman who is also onboard for that type of relationship. Believe me, they exist. I’ve had enough arguments with MRA women to know they exist. Do I think wanting what you want is misognystic? Yes. I do. I’m sorry, but that’s just how it is. I’m not tellling you that you (or any woman who chooses to) can’t live that way. Fortunately, not all men, and most men nowadays, do not think like you. Most men are perfectly happy with their SO having their own autonomy and they don’t have to be a feminist to feel that way.

        1. I am unaware that women are unequal under the law. Could you show me where? Who said I would take her autonomy? She is free to make any choice she likes as long as she is willing to face the consequences of that choice. It’s not like she gets a frontal lobotomy in the process of dating. She is free (as many women have) to be with me or not. But when you say feminism is for men, I asked you what feminism does for men that want a woman at home caring for the home and hearth, the one solace they have from the world? And you in turn called me a misogynist, someone who hates women. I don’t hate women at all. My gf is pretty happy about that. But I do have standards and desires for my own life, and feminism certainly doesn’t speak to any of those.

          1. Feminism is only going to work for men who want to move forward, that’s true. I suppose feminism isn’t more sexists. You got me there.

          2. Jeremy, You are getting slaughtered in this thread. You refuse to answer any question about what feminism does for men, then go ad hominem. Move forward? Move what forward? To where? Men generally got behind the first and second waves of feminism. The right to vote, work and equality under the law are things that men understood should be equal. However the third wave grievance feminism is unpalatable and peevish. So if this wave of feminism is for erasing masculinity, demonizing male perspectives, and denigrating the desires and aspirations of a sizable block of men, then few men will ever see the reason to support it. Unless They, like you, “love vagina” so much and see it as a way to get laid.

          3. Why is that when people have clearly lost they pretend to have won? No one has presented a legitimate argument to me and I’ve remained calm while you have yelled, screamed and acted like petulent, spoiled children. And again, one of you accuse me of being a feminist for alterior motives; as I said earlier, if you think it’s impossible for a man to to care about women’s issues without having said alterior motives, that says more about you than it will ever say about me.

            Anyway, I wish you guys enlightenment, but I have bounce. It was fun deb- er, arguing – if ultimately pointless.

          4. There’s no such word as alterior. I’d be willing to chalk it up to a typo if this wasn’t the fourth time you’ve made it. And no, I didn’t make that accusation (although it’s probably true).

            “Why is that when people have clearly lost they pretend to have won?”

            You mean like yourself?

          5. I have asked you several pointed questions and yet you have no response. When an opponent in debate (sport or war) has no response to a charge, it’s a victory.

            I never charged you with -ulterior- motives, but you did say that you “love vagina” and that seems to indicate a motive beyond just equality. But that’s neither here nor their with me. I say if it gets you laid, more power to you. I walk a different path for that.

            I am still waiting for you to tell me what enlightenment feminism brings men in this day and age.

          6. Chinga tu madre pinche puta macarena!
            Y tu madre tiene SIDA Puta macarena
            Chinga tu puerco pinche puta macarena

            HEY MACARENA!

    2. Actually people are reacting to what a disgusting and repulsive person she is. She wrote this for example

      “”Devolving into grunting subhuman furiously masterbating”””

      These sorts of generalizations are offensive and she deserves to be mocked and maybe even insulted

  26. … and this is why womynz if they are brought back to the domicile (which the whole thing is a man cave), are quickly shuffled out the door. I don’t need this moronic crap in my life.

  27. Or men could just avoid judgmental & controlling women who think personal relationships are a collection of political statements.

  28. In addition to perpetuating patriarchy, Ruidas argues, “man caves” can also make racism worse . . . because “a man cave is a place where a man devolves into a grunting subhuman that leaves sexist and racist comments on message boards, then furiously masturbates to free porn.”

    Wow..if that isn’t a monumental example of stereotyping, then the whole concept has no meaning.

  29. Wow, I think the author needs a pacifier. Grow a pair of balls please, before you attempt to speak on our behalf. Our culture is seriously sliding down the toilet.

  30. Gotta love the femsplaining! Please tell me what is “wrong” with what I do on my own time oh great one! After all, I am just a stupid, un-evolved male…I need saving from myself!

    And so many feminists [wrongly] maintain that misandry isn’t a real thing. This so-called student just demonstrated it …. all in one, asinine article. But hey, at least she got some clicks!

  31. Oh feminism, where personal grievances are elevated to political rallying cries.
    (1) Why is the author snooping around the house? Oh, the door was slightly ajar so I ever-so-innocently took a peek to find “Ewww! Cats! Stinky clothes!” No, you were being nosy and since you aren’t a resident, what goes on there is not your business.
    (2) OMG! Man cave! What crimethink! Yes, women are a burden, especially women like the author who think a man is responsible for the maintenance and constant monitoring of her feelings and that to seek a reprieve from these “responsibilities” is to sin against the holiness of women and to embrace the Great Satan known as Patriarchy.
    (3) Author wails and gnashes her teeth at “digs against femininity.” Has no trouble cartoonishly reducing manhood to “sports-related memorabilia,” “cheap beer,” “dirty clothes,” “grunting subhumanity,” “sexism,” “racism,” and “porn” all influenced by big business. Meanwhile, back in a little place called reality, the majority of cheap, meaningless crap is marketed and sold to women in the vast, multi-billion dollar temples to female consumerism and vanity known as shopping malls.
    (4) Her “progressive” solution (because progressivism is the religion de jure of the self-righteous, the effete, and the petty tyrant) is for the man to entirely abandon his own domicile, which is likely pays for, and to spend his brief period of freedom in ways the woman approves of and don’t threaten her inconstant feelings (hiking, meditating, fishing).
    To the “boyfriend” of Kalani, my only advice is, escape while you have the chance. If you make the terrible mistake of marrying this woman or worse, fathering a child on her, her hectoring, her nagging, her constant demanding and smug sermonizing will only grow more shrill and irrational as time passes.

  32. I don’t know… call me tragically normal, but I actually enjoy when my husband goes off to his man-cave. He works hard all week and provides well for our family of 5. He needs some time to reset his inner workings and I gladly respect this need. He doesn’t go in there to do all the things feminists conjure up in their imaginations and therefore hate. He tinkers, works on some design ideas, fixes stuff, etc. He doesn’t go in there to jerk off or be a mindless goon. He’s got projects and plans he wants to advance on. Oh dear me, how brutally patriarchal. He doesn’t want to leave the house he pays for in order to do this. He just wants to walk down the hall and just be in his own way. He, at times, sits our kids down and explains what he’s up to. It’s good daddy-kid time.

    If this is a non-feminist approved behavior, or if his location isn’t on the approved list of spaces, I am sure he will gladly tell you (an unmarried, barely adult, clueless minion to feminist theology) to kiss his gendered-sexist-ass.

  33. You are obviously to immature to be in an adult relationship. Perhaps you should go back to your parents house and your childhood bedroom. You need some growing up time.

  34. If a man wrote sexist, hate speech, shit-talk like this about women, it would never have been published in this campus newspaper.

  35. “By that token, a man cave is a place where a man devolves into
    a grunting subhuman that leaves sexist and racist comments on message
    boards, then furiously masturbates to free porn.”
    – Where is this assumption from, Ms Ruidas ? I retreat in a space, such as a billiards room, to discuss the merits of un-assisted rack-and-pinion steering versus hydraulic-assisted versus electric-assisted steering, or Grüner Veltliner over Müller Thurgau or Sauvignon Blanc; occasionally, women’s beauty and details thereof come into dialogue.
    However, where is this furious masturbation from ? Where have you actually witnessed this ? I am curious and slightly shocked, I tell you, because it all seems a gross, if not moronic, cliché.

  36. Kalani, you have received so much backlash from misogynists about this article but I hope you know how much truth is behind this. Men feel so entitled to just brush off a woman’s opinions no matter how merited they are and I respect you for posting something as truthful as this article. You are a fantastic writer and keep doing what you’re doing because it is making a difference, even if the comments don’t seem so.

    1. Truth? I didn’t read anything in her missive that rang true and apparently few others did either. Do men feel they have the ability to brush off some inane opinion of a woman? Yes, because not every bit of dribble from the lips of a peevish princess is sacrosanct. She has no right to invade men’s safe space and deem it sexist, racist, and vile and then demand changes that suit her. She and those like her can “pound sand” as it were.

    2. Nobody is brushing aside her opinion because she’s a woman. They’re brushing aside her opinion because she is an idiot.

  37. So are you also going to be campaigning to end the concept of ‘Ladies Night’ at bars and other establishments, where women can drink for free and men aren’t allowed in?

    Oh, I’m sorry, I forgot: It’s only problematic if it’s something that you can’t benefit from.

  38. So it is up to you to decide what is appropriate for other people to have in their rooms? Pretty sad that you assume that a man “devolves into a grunting subhuman that leaves sexist and racist comments on message boards, then furiously masturbates to free porn” just for wanting to be in a separate space. Pretty sexist of you to assume that women like “sewing rooms or craft rooms”. Isn’t that also attaching labels.
    This is a huge red flag to your boyfriend and a warning for him to run away from you as soon as possible. If he does he will avoid many years of pain with someone who isn’t happy with letting others just be.

  39. I’ll keep my man cave, you can keep your bullshit to yourself, thank you. Bottom line is, I don’t give two shits if what you think I do in MY OWN HOME is offensive. It’s none of your fucking business.

  40. “It bears a juvenile likeness to a tree house with a sign that reads, ‘No girls allowed.’”

    I’ve never understood “man cave” in that sense. It’s not a place where
    women aren’t allowed, but a place where a guy gets to put all the stuff he
    likes, for the express purpose of keeping it out of other areas of the house
    where the woman doesn’t want it.

  41. Maybe we hear you nags 24/7 with your false outrage and whiney neediness EVERYWHERE these days, and we like having places to go that are free from your annoying influence?

  42. I guess that the author isn’t aware that the “man cave” is the evolotion of the den, and that the approximate equivalent for women is the boudoir or sitting room.

  43. Oh, look, Little Kalani tried to write a provocative and grown up article, bless her heart.
    You, sweetie, are a moron. Your attitude is what would drive most men to a man cave.

  44. sweety, its called a man cave because we’re at our core nothing but a bunch of knuckle dragging cavemen and we dont want to impose our nature on the rest of YOUR house.

  45. There are women and young girls in the Middle East who are being raped multiple times a day and sex trafficked. There are warehouses of young women being raped to breed more for Allah. Yet this feminist thinks man caves are oppressive.

  46. Congratulations on the silliest article of the week. Besides the mean stereotyping, the author misses the whole point of the “man cave’. It is a place where men and the things they like are exiled, because the women, who are in charge, will not have sports memorabilia or motorcycles anywhere else in the house. It is a place of exile, not a throne room. You misunderstand the power dynamic.

  47. The dorm room for some 18 to 20 year guy is not a man cave, since he’s not yet a man.

    Women are not generally “such a burden”, but you obviously are. Get over yourself. Men and women ARE DIFFERENT!


    There should be no place for a man to be where his thoughts aren’t under constant monitoring and modification by proper authority. All of the “crutches” of mandom – guns, sports, voicing opinions that violate “safe spaces”, etc are to be removed and replaced with things that promote and stimulate estrogen thinking. The ideal man is now … Kaitlyn.

  49. The problem isn’t with “gross” man caves, it’s with you dating a hopeless, disgusting loser, and you should be ashamed of yourself for admitting such to the internet. I mean, if he’s the best you can do then I weep for you.

  50. Kalani, I would give anything to have a life so easy and have so few responsibilities that what a person in his own home calls his bedroom is my business. Your life must be nothing but free time.

  51. This article confirms: The science is settled: through the use of x-ray, mri, and the judicial use of a rubber mallet, density irregularities have been discovered in the female cranium. Explaining the age old mystery how females can simultaneously be soft headed and hard headed.

  52. If I find your thought process (possibly giving you too much credit here) offensive, will you start studying history and economics and learning about the real world? Do you plan to hold a real job, or at least one off a college campus? Because while your whining and scolding might be tolerated on a college campus where you can work to help all students believe they are victims and that they can’t handle anything they find offensive, most organizations want to employ people who can handle life even when they disagree with the thoughts and actions of others. Get over yourself! Gain a little inner strength and do something more productive than worrying about a few words. Yes, there are people in this world you will disagree with and people who will offend you. But you can handle it. Or you should be able to.

  53. The sewing room or craft room, to which a woman might retreat, is identified by the action that takes place there. By that token, a man cave is a place where a man devolves into a grunting subhuman that leaves sexist and racist comments on message boards, then furiously masturbates to free porn.

    Wait, how do we know you’re not “furiously masturbating to free porn” in your sewing room? I’ll bet you are.

  54. The writer is a whiner. She probably complains about everything. The guy should dump her and find another girl–not all of us are anally-fixated as she apparently is.

  55. All true, and reason enough why we don’t want you to join us.

    Any space is a “safe place” where your nattering, hairy-arm-pitted presence is missing.

  56. You appear to be confusing men for people who care about your ridiculous rant. For the record, though, mine is over 1000 square feet. Too big to call a “cave”. I call it “Man Canyon”.

  57. Listen, little girl…you better pull up your big girl pants and get over it. Otherwise, perhaps a woman would be more your “suit”! You think you are all grown up, sassy and smart. You have only been around the teacup… The reality is that you will smell farts, hear snoring and so much more, if you are lucky enough not to scare every dude away as you emasculate him with what you believe. #itwouldsucktobeyou

  58. A quick search pops up this pic of Kalani. If she is so victimized by men then why does she need to put this type of pic on the www???

  59. The entire net result of the author’s efforts here will only translate into Adsense covering her browser with ads for cat food.

  60. Re: “The progressive solution is allowing everyone to have his or her own space.”

    Actually, the Progressive Solution® would be for the aggrieved party (her) to have exclusive access to her space and equal access to his.

  61. So a “sewing room or craft room” is automatically seen as only the domain of females? The author is clearly a bigot promulgating offensive gender stereotypes.

  62. Kalani’s LinkedIn profile states she is from Kahului on the island of Maui. It’s the large, gritty, working class, industrial town on the island near the airport, and home to warehouses, homeless, chemical and fuel storage depots, etc. It’s not uncommon for homes in Kahului to mirror the conditions that Kalani found so off-putting. Just as SFSU has taught Kalani how to signal her enlightened views on the “patriarchy”, me thinks San Francisco’s endemic “smug” and clouds of pot smoke have erased her memory banks of her modest upbringing.

  63. Just when you think some feminists couldn’t be any dumber, Kalani Ruidas comes along and shows it can be done.
    Well done, Kalani Ruidas!

  64. Really the concept of a man cave comes from the fact that the poor little oppressed women in the US usually have control of what goes in every other room of the house. But, PATRIARCHY!

  65. Strange, intrusive, dominance games disguised (and not very well) as ‘social awareness’. You have the gall to demand somebody else’s personal space conform to your own bizarre standards while pretending its still their personal space. There is no respect in that. Its just about you and what you want.

  66. The author is setting herself up for Old Maid status at Light Speed.

    Any man who touches her with a 10 foot cattle prod is an emasculated man.

  67. So because you had a bad experience with a Crust Punk’s living conditions; you’re condemning the idea of a man’s space within a home?

  68. Hey Kalani….GET back to the ironing…..and while your at it get me a beer and make me a sammitch!

  69. What a pathetic leftist loser! Prospective employers should take note of the radioactivity of this whining twit as should prospective friends of both genders!

  70. Jesus, the bubble wrap generation has grown up and his “opinions” lol

    Tell you what, keep up this idiocy and expect us to go out of our way to offend you from here on in.

    Me, In my MAN Cave, away from bossy b itchy women

  71. You need to at least be consistent. You can’t rant about an assault on femininity and then use feminist arguments. You feminist whiners need to make up your mind. While you’re at it, go make me a sandwich and bring it to my man cave.

  72. BTW how sexist is it to relegate the women to the sowing or craft room? You should be ashamed of yourself.

  73. Kalani might want to consider that the reason her guy needs a man cave isn’t to escape responsibility but to have a place away from her toxic feminist ranting.

  74. Oh good GAWD Lady Kalani! You have ruminated on this WAY too much and are finding some extremely silly microaggressions where none exist, but maybe that’s the point since microaggressions are exactly that: slights that have no basis in reality but nonetheless give the “microag-experience-er” an opportunity to wax whiny. LOL. Good luck with that.

  75. Jesus, this is now a thing… you want my balls, my heart attacks, my high pressure jobs, my nagging spouse, my balding head and hairy ass too? TAKE IT ALL… YOU’RE THE VERY REASON WE DIE 7 YEARS EARLIER….BECAUSE WE WANT TOO!

  76. An “ever-so encumbered married man” is supposed to “actually leave his house” for alone time. Indeed, he should only be alone if he can afford a “fishing trip” or a “trip to a “misty mountaintop in China.” Wonder how he is going to explain blowing the contribution to the 401k or the kid’s 529 plan on these mystical meanderings to the missus, when it would be so much cheaper for him to go to the tiny, dank corner she is prepared to concede him in the basement?

    Why, by contrast, do feminists celebrate Virginia Woolf demanding a “Room of One’s Own?”

  77. It would appear to me that the comment section has done a fine job at completely explaining the fact that no one takes the opinion of femi-nazis seriously. . Kalani…you are a laughing stock. Its time to grow up.

  78. Seriously girl, get a life outside of the awful PC culture with which your horrible schools and K-12 upbringing have cossetted you.

    The world is a pretty good place, but needs serious people to solve serious problems.

    “man caves” are not one of those serious problems. Eggshell psyches of whole swaths of your generation? That’s a serious problem.

  79. And here I thought the thought of a man cave was sexist towards men, especially given that the term itself is demeaning and it’s usually the only room in which a man has any say in how it’s appointed.

    It just goes to show ya, that no matter the issue, a woman will find a way to make it about her and her vagina.

  80. Here she is folks, Kalani Ruidas our Man Show candidate for “irrelevant” women of the year
    . A person who draws conclusions about things that are not only irrelevant but none of her business. She claims it is racist and sexist for someone to use the term “man cave”. More trendy thought control from a democratic socialist who doesn’t have enough thoughts in her head to even know that no one could possibly care what she thinks. No doubt she’ll get her degree in Alinsky Social Engineering. We’ve got people being killed all over the world and she ties up her energy with renaming man caves. She would be ok with “Beer Guzzling and Sports Watching Sanctuary” because that describes an Activity. You still aren’t welcome in anyone’s MAN CAVE.
    Dude, you should jet out of this relationship before you’re required to wear panties in the sewing room while quilting.

  81. Makes you just wanna scratch your armpits and belch loudly doesn’t it? Jeez this woman is a judgmental twat-waffle

  82. 1. You need a new boyfriend.

    2. Your premise is based on a definition of “man-cave” for which you have only one direct, personal reference point – and a bunch of media marketing material.

    Let’s accept that as truth and move on.

    3. “It takes a passive dig at femininity.” No it doesn’t. In any one culture, there are certain behaviors and practices ascribed to feminine and masculine, irrespective of whether they are adopted by women or men. A “man-cave” is simply a place more closely ascribed to the masculine as opposed to the feminine. My CAVE has prints of famous artwork, childhood memorabilia, books, desk/office material, a big TV, a sound system, a mini-fridge, a weight bench… and fresh flowers.

    4. “It’s as if women are such a burden that they’re restricted from that zone…” Sorry you feel that way. You are assuming the posture of a victim. (See #1 and #3.)

    5. “A man cave is essentially an emotional sanctuary for men to escape their responsibilities…” That falsehood affirms the lack of any maturity or worldly experience. Men may seek out their space after MEETING their physical responsibilities and emotional responsibilities to work and family. Anything else and the problem is bigger
    than “The Cave.”

    6. “The sewing room or craft room, to which a woman might retreat, is identified by the action that takes place there.” Hypocritical. The statement posits the same sexism you’re arguing against.

    7. A man …”could be free of his cave and take a walk, go to the gym, take a fishing trip, relieve his stress through meditation on a misty mountaintop in China.” That’s exactly what we’re doing IN “The Cave.” It’s the same thing you’re doing when you go out with the girls for drinks. Along those lines…

    8. Try a quick read of “Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus.” Chapter 3: “Men Go to Their Caves and Women Talk.”

    9. See #1.

  83. So, in other words some young men are slobs.

    But I fail to see what Patriarchy has to do with it unless they are asking her to clean it up.

  84. I own a house, and 6 months into a relationship (not even living with me), she began to insist on complete makeovers. I was informed that the house is “the woman’s domain” and that there should be a space in the basement for the man and kids to have things their way…..she referred to it as a man cave.
    I kicked her out….no regrets.
    Happily married to a much more reasonable woman now.
    There is no Patriarchy. ….man caves exist because some women need to control the entire house….the man cave is their one concession where they send the man……this article shows that some women can’t even relinquish that tiny bit of control.

  85. That’s the last time I read an article like this. Who cares? Why point out differences and crap. Those are thoughts that stay in one’s head and do not need to be put to print in any form.

  86. “The sewing room or craft room, to which a woman might retreat, is identified by the action that takes place there. By that token, a man cave is a place where a man devolves into a grunting subhuman that leaves sexist and racist comments on message boards, then furiously masturbates to free porn.”

    Aren’t feminists always saying that men need feminism too? You seem to have a very distorted and hateful view of men. You’re not exactly winning our hearts and minds here, chica.

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