Sex in the time of Trump

I am usually one to enjoy my 2 a.m. rendezvous with my partner. Especially after not seeing him for months at a time, but lately there has been a problem in the bedroom.

It’s been happening for a few months now, but recently it has gotten much worse. It has made our time in the bedroom awkward and far from pleasurable.

It’s a disappointment. It’s flaccid. It’s the white elephant in the room, or rather, the orange Cheeto with a bad toupee.

President Trump has ruined my sex life. Yes, the President of the United States has ruined my sex life. I am an avid orgasm enthusiast and I enjoy my partner, however, since the start of his presidential campaign and eventual victory to the White House, my sex life has been disastrous.

His promise to fulfill every right-winger’s dream of defunding Planned Parenthood has scared me to my core, or rather, my ovaries.

I, like many people, have visited Planned Parenthood for services ranging from STD checks and advice on birth control as well as check ups for blood pressure and cancer screenings.

Planned Parenthood provides health services for millions of people, many of which are low-income, who are able to go to Planned Parenthood and get quality treatment and care.

The services Planned Parenthood provides are not solely for sexual health. Although it is a large portion of its services, Planned Parenthood also provides cancer screenings, flu vaccines, diabetes and thyroid screenings, and much more.

Talk of defunding Planned Parenthood derives mostly from the controversial abortion services it provides. Although abortions only make up 3 percent of Planned Parenthood’s appointments, conservatives and pro-life individuals feel that by funding Planned Parenthood the government is in turn allowing these services to continue.

Federal funding for Planned Parenthood makes up approximately 40 percent of its revenue. Defunding Planned Parenthood will damn near cause them to close their doors,which will cause them to rely on donations and pay for its services.

This past Sunday was the 44th anniversary of Roe v. Wade, a court case that allowed women the right to have an abortion. Not even a full day later, our new president signed an executive order for the “Mexico City Policy,” which puts a ban on foreign aid from going to nongovernmental organizations such as the International Planned Parenthood.

I cannot imagine what it feels like to be the women in other countries who will lose access to contraceptives and the education that the IPP offers. The lack of education results into what we see in states such as Texas, whose schools teach abstinence only as means of contraception and see a high percentage of teen pregnancies.

In his first few days in office, Trump sat in a room with a bunch of rich, old, white men and signed pieces of paper that would affect the lives of thousands of women overseas. He is a coward, and so is his little posse of privileged white boys.  

And yet he still questions the motives behind the women’s marches in a tweet Sunday.

Since President Trump was so quick to reinstate the “Mexico City Policy,” one can only guess what he plans to do on the homefront. So yes, Trump has ruined my sex life. And probably yours as well.

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