Marijuana Doesn’t Cure Stupidity

A student decided to hit his bong a few times in his dorm Feb. 2. Apparently, the weed fogged his memory and he forgot that paper towel rolls filled with dryer sheets only make the room smell like Clean Breeze, oh yeah, and weed. He also forgot he lived across the hall from an RA with the nose of a bloodhound. After the hallways filled up with drug-sniffing RA’s, the culprit was caught, cited, and his weed was confiscated. No flying high today.

Hope you have money in the banksy

Officers responded to a report of graffiti on the elevators at Mary Ward Hall Feb. 5.  Apparently, someone thought it was a brilliant idea to risk one year in jail and up to $10,000 in fines in order to let people know that they can spell their name with a K instead of a C and can write illegibly in some funny font. $uper kool.

Tony Hawk? I think not.

Presumably with the intention of dropping out of college and dropping into the half pipe and going pro, a skateboarder fell and hit his head in Lot 6 Feb. 5. He was taken to the hospital where the doctors probably told him that scrambled brains wouldn’t work with his future profession and prescribed this new plastic padded protective thingy that straps on your head to potentially prevent future injury.

Watch your whip

Since leaving for break, there have been eight car break-ins and two stolen vehicles, one from Lot 25 and the other on Buckingham Way. In order to help prevent auto burglary, remove high dollar items from vehicle (GPS’s, CD players, purses, wallets, MP3 players, laptops, backpacks, luggage etc). Do not leave your property in plain view. If your car stereo has a detachable face, take the faceplate with you every time you park your vehicle.