Campus crime update: Campus nudity, golf cart thievery and a pill thief in the dorms

The emperor’s new clothes

University police cited an SF State student for indecent exposure Feb. 24 on the grassy knoll in front of the Humanities building. What the officers probably didn’t realize was that with tuition rising 9 percent each semester, students have had to make do without such luxuries as socks, shirts and underwear.

Shiny objects attract attention

Sometime during late-night hours Feb. 21, a University golf cart had its rear-view mirror removed while it was parked at the Student Services building, which begs the question: Why does a golf cart have a rear view mirror? Oh damn! Now that it was stolen the driver’s going to have to turn their head…a little.

Fear and Loathing at SF State

A female student reported $20 worth of her medication missing from her SF State dorm room Feb. 21. What she probably didn’t know was that the culprits who took her medicine did it to not only relieve themselves of headaches and stress, but also to escape from the monotony of tepid student life. They were perhaps inspired to experiment by a Hunter S. Thompson novel assigned to them in their freshman English class. Or they just wanted to sell the pills. Whatever.