Why do we even come to the first day of classes (other than the fear of being dropped) if we are just going to listen to a professor read from a syllabus for what feels like an eternity before getting let out early? If that’s how it’s going to be, let’s just start classes the second day.

I’m beginning to believe our professors are actually just ill-prepared for the first class session and didn’t bother to make a lesson plan. I don’t know if you noticed or not, but Xpress had a whole paper ready for the first week of school, not last year’s syllabus.

I mean, what is there to learn on the first day, other than a classmate’s name via an awkward name game? There is nothing new in these guidelines that you have not been read throughout your college career. I think I was read the exact same syllabus on my first day of college as I was last week. Oh really, 90 percent and up is an A? Wait, I shouldn’t show up late? Can I cheat in this class? No?!

But the one rule they seem to drive home the hardest is to never-ever-ever-ever plagiarize. Don’t you dare plagiarize — it’s an automatic F! One professor even made sure to tell us that if we wrote something for a different class and tried to “double dip” by turning it in for their class, we would be plagiarizing. Automatic F!

That’s when it hit me: Do professors double dip their syllabuses from class-to-class? I don’t think they would bother writing two separate pieces for the same assignment, that would be silly.

Wait just a minute. Now that I think about it, I think our professors might be sharing their syllabus answers with each other before class, because they all sound pretty similar to me — especially the “do not plagiarize” speeches. Automatic F!