While not quite in the double digits, the number of people I’ve slept with is relatively high for my age and gender. My name is Kristen Martz and I’m a slut — according to modern statistics.
A little over two years ago, a film called “What’s Your Number?” was released. In case you missed it — the lead female is concerned because of an article claiming that women who have had more than 20 sexual partners will never be married, and her number is dangerously close at 19.
While it made for a relatively terrible movie (and a total box office flop), the narrative sparked an age-old debate. One would think that now, in 2013, people are less concerned about sexual encounters and an individual’s quantity of experiences — but they aren’t.
The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), and plenty other publications, have recently published data showing that people are still keeping track of their numbers. Roughly, it’s been reported that women aged 25-44 have a median of about four partners in their life. Whether this number is accurate is the decision of the audience, but the CDC swears by it. If the average number of sexual partners for women is really less than five, then I am a raging slut. Sorry, Dad.
But according to a study published in the April 2013 issue of Sex Roles, people are still lying about their exact number. In the study, women who thought they were hooked up to a lie detector raised their numbers by one or two. Side note: men lowered their numbers by about one or two. How shocking.
While the term “slut” usually has a negative connotation, its most basic definition implies a woman that has many casual sexual partners. Multiple surveys have shown that most of the human population doesn’t agree on exactly what number makes someone a slut, much less what even constitutes as sexual intercourse. Sluttiness is in the eye of the beholder.
If you’re one who believes sluts are a bad thing, there are probably two reasons that come to mind: STDs and becoming “loose.”
It is true that having multiple partners increases your risk of picking up an STD, but safe practices can essentially eliminate the risk. A woman with 12 partners may use protection and never pick up an STD (or worse, a baby), while another woman may get infected during her first time. It’s a risk any sexually active person takes any time he or she decides to get down.
As for looseness, Psychology Today reveals that unless you’ve had multiple children or are well into your 40s or 50s, your vagina is not going to stretch or become loose. Similar to the elastic muscles of your mouth, your vaginal muscles will snap back every time. No one worries about their mouths getting stretched from performing too much oral sex; the same logic applies for vaginal sex. If you’re terribly worried, there are always Kegel exercises to tighten things up a bit.
So here’s the thing — if you have a lot of sex, you’re a slut. It’s not a bad thing, it’s just the truth. As long as you’re not being filthy and picking up or spreading STDs all over the place, it shouldn’t matter. You go get yours, girl.
Akagi_Shigeru • Sep 11, 2015 at 1:03 pm
“So here’s the thing — if you have a lot of sex, you’re a slut. It’s not a bad thing,”
Yes, you are; and yes, it is.
https://heartiste.wordpress.com/2010/09/16/why-sluts-make-bad-wives/
Jon P • Nov 25, 2013 at 12:58 am
I couldn’t disagree more, being a slut in my experience are women with low or no standards or for which drugs led to activities they later regretted. Last year I slept with a 31yr old woman who had told me she slept with 33 other men, she was one of the worst sex partners – skillswise that I’ve been with and another woman who did one night stands lied to me and I found out she had chlamydia 3 months after. One woman I slept with 2 months ago confessed to me she was involved in gangbangs, she was very loose. Condoms can’t stop herpes and I’ve had condoms break on me.