Friends with benefits: one way to ruin a friendship
We all know the situation—two friends blurring the line between friendly and friendlier. In all honesty, the idea of no commitment, no strings attached lovin’ may sound like a great idea at some point to anyone.
However, there are two words that can easily be used in this situation: Bad. Idea.
The fabled friends with benefits situation can be a great way to meet those late night needs with someone who you know you’re already compatible with, however the negative risks can be greater than the benefits.
In a study done by Michigan State and Wayne State University, 65.3 percent of people who said they were in or had a friends with benefits relationship said the biggest downside was the development of feelings.
In other words, more than half of people in these situations ended up in the Broken Hearts Club.
These relationships are also notorious for not progressing into something more committed or long term. The theory that these kinds of “relationships” don’t last for more than a few weeks or months can sound great. However, after sharing something so intimate, if someone becomes emotionally attached when things go south, it can be hard to let go.
The likelihood that this person is going to be around when all is said and done is low. FWB relationships also don’t tend to last more than a few months. In reflection of my own conquests, as well as those of my friends, it’s only a matter of months before the theoretical shit hits the fan.
It’s best to take into consideration the value of this persons’ friendship.
The cliché term “sex changes everything” didn’t come from nowhere. Having sex with someone can seriously change how you see him or her, and will certainly change the dynamic of your friendship. After sharing something so intimate, think of how awkward and weird things can get when you run into them anywhere else? I was in a FWB relationship with someone and we had a lot of mutual friends. It became a hot awkward mess every time we saw each other outside the context of our rendezvous.
The best advice that can be given in this situation is don’t go for it. And if you decide it’s something you want to try, be honest with yourself and don’t be afraid to end it. Remember this is just a friend, and it may not have been a good idea in the first place.