The Ins And Outs: Farewell to the sex column
It seems our time on this wild ride has come to a close. But before I truly say my goodbyes, I’d like to leave you all with some parting words of wisdom that didn’t quite fit in their original columns. Let’s get the juices flowing and begin.
One night stands: Keep your emotions out of the situation, unless you’d like to develop feelings for someone you didn’t intend to. This is no time for jealousy or love, so keep your sights set on fun! Just hit it and quit it.
Masturbation: To take it to the next level, try mutual masturbation with a partner where you both masturbate at the same time. You get to watch your partner experience their pleasure and enjoy the added bonuses of no risk of pregnancy or sexually transmitted infections. After all, it’s the safest form of sexual activity that involves another person!
Sex on the first date: “True intimacy really develops more from talking or from opening up and full self-disclosure, talking about your background, your hopes and dreams and fears and past traumatic experiences, and to have your partner reciprocate, and to have them accept you for who you are,” said SF State sex and relationships lecturer Ivy Chen, who believes people sometimes use sex as a shortcut to intimacy. “Very often I think people can get intimate with all of their clothes on.”
Dirty talk: Shay of StefanosandShay.com, who teaches workshops on the art of talking dirty, says she regularly employs the term “slut” during her play sessions. It adds an element of degradation, which is half the fun of talking dirty. Feel free to choose your own degrading terms.
Plan B: The emergency contraceptive is available to everyone over the counter, but those 17 and younger in all but nine states need a prescription from a doctor to purchase the pill. Alaska, California, Hawaii, Maine, New Hampshire, Massachusetts, New Mexico, Vermont and Washington all allow specially trained pharmacists to administer the pill, according to the Office of Population Research & Association of Reproductive Health and Professionals.
Exhibitionism: The fourth edition of the “Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders” classifies exhibitionism as paraphilia, meaning an abnormal sexual desire involving extreme or dangerous activities. Many psychologists therefore treat exhibitionism as a mental illness and treat with therapy and occasionally medication.
Condom usage: Female condoms, a somewhat less convenient alternative to traditional condoms, can be used with oil-based lubricants, an option not available with latex male condoms.
Sex club etiquette: “Some venues have websites with lots of information about their culture while others may post much less publicly online. Consider giving them a call or sending an email letting them know that you’ve never been to a sex club before and a little bit about what you’re hoping to find. Even if that venue may not be the one you’re looking for it’s likely that they can help point you in the right direction to another space that might be a better fit,” recommends fetish model and blogger Maggie Mayhem of missmaggiemayhem.com.
Erotic asphyxiation: “I feel it’s necessary to separate ‘actual’ breath control from ‘simulated’ breath control because some people will do ‘mock’ breath control that doesn’t actually block air flow or occlude the carotid arteries (which are the two main types of breath control play),” says Shay. “Hardline anti-breath control people tend to lump this in with actual breath control, which generally makes them look like they’re overly paranoid and makes people kinda shrug off anything they say.”
HIV and sexual abuse: Women who are HIV-positive are disproportionately—2 to 6 times more likely-—to suffer from post-traumatic stress disorder than the general population, according to a study by University of California, San Francisco published in the journal of “AIDS and Behavior.”
Sexy foods: Bananas contain high levels of potassium and B vitamins, which may be very important in sex hormone production, according to “The Relationship Between Sex and Food” by Maryanne Fisher of “Psychology Today.”
Male birth control: To reverse the sperm-killing results of Vasalgel, the male birth control shot, it takes just one more shot and two to three months to get the sperm back to its former baby-making glory, according to the Male Contraception Information Project.
I hope you laughed at, learned from and loved my column this semester. Please enjoy every little tidbit of information I supplied you with. It’s been a pleasure serving you all.