While everyone is Netflix and chilling, bumping uglies and sliding into DMs, I’m keeping my cherry in tact.

I’m 21 years old and still a virgin, and I really haven’t gone any further than making out with a boy. I’m knocking the books instead of knocking boots, and that’s nothing to be ashamed of. It has its perks, and it has its downfalls, but at the end of the day, it’s worth it to me.

I don’t refrain from having sex because of any kind of religious beliefs. I just believe that you should have sex with someone whom you care about. That doesn’t mean that you have to be married to the person, but you should have some sort of love and care for that person

Most of my best friends are sexually active. When we talk about sex, sometimes I feel left out, but when I do contribute, I often get told, “Oh, you wouldn’t know,” or, “When you finally have sex, you’ll know.” I get treated like an amateur, which I guess you can say that I am, but there’s a lot of ways to learn about sex, besides actually participating in the act.

When guys I talk to find out I’m a virgin, I get mixed reactions. Some guys really admire me for it, and some guys find it a turnoff. The guys who find it a turnoff tell me that I’m playing hard to get and I’m picky, and you’re damn right I’m picky. You should be picky when you’re choosing a person to have sex with. It’s your body, and you shouldn’t let anyone have it. Think of it like this: Imagine that you bought yourself a brand new Rolls Royce. Would you just let anyone drive it? I know I wouldn’t. Your body is worth way more than a Rolls Royce, so you definitely shouldn’t just let anyone have it.

Sometimes, I feel like I’m behind and not caught up. Most of the people around me are sexually active. According to a 2011 report from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, only 12.3 percent of females in their early 20s had never had sexual contact with the opposite sex. A lot of people tell me that I could easily find a guy to have sex with and “get it over with,” but that’s not what I want to do.

Sex should be special and something that I look forward to, rather than something I “have” to do. It’s not a duty or a chore; it’s sacred and special. This doesn’t mean that people who choose to have casual sex are wrong. How people choose to handle their sex lives is completely up to them and isn’t up to me or anyone else to judge what they do. I don’t think there is a wrong or right way to live your sexual life.

I am no longer ashamed of being a virgin. It’s empowering. Since I was a little girl just learning about sex, I always set a goal that I would wait for the person I was in love with, and so far I’m achieving that goal. I haven’t found the love of my life yet, but I will eventually, and it will be well worth the wait.