Driving Under the Influence of Party Rock

On 19th Avenue, Sept. 14, officers conducted a traffic stop and determined a subject was driving under the influence around 3 a.m. While intoxication can sometimes lead to a great story or two — come on, this is San Francisco, a city only seven miles across — there are these things called Muni, BART and cabs. Plus, that late at night no one is on the bus so you can turn an empty Muni into a luxurious drunk tank or an impromptu dubstep dance party.  The other option is a cold bench at the police station.

Don’t Be a Phony

Officers received reports of a stolen phone Sept. 13. The phone was stolen from its owner around the Fine Arts Building between 2:20 and 5 p.m. at an estimated loss of $420. Did this person lose a phone or a valuable painting? If you see this phone, contact the owner along with a pair of pants with pockets. This whole scenario is getting nothing but poor reception.

One Auto Know Better

A vehicle was broken into on Winston Drive Sept. 13. When the report was taken, it was noted that nothing was taken and the revenue loss was $0. It appears to be just another case of a good citizen doing his Civic duty testing the legitimacy of an automobile’s security system. Remember to keep a keen eye, lock your doors and set an alarm, unless you think you can a-Ford to lose all those fancy school materials or the car itself. Give us a brake!