“The Force Awakens” is bound to disappoint


A long, long time ago in a barn far, far away, the Virgin Mary gave birth to a little, bloody baby Jesus. Mary gave life to our lord and savior so we could eventually celebrate his birth with bright Christmas trees and overplayed Mariah Carey songs. But she did not push out a messiah so we would waste Christmas by complaining about a new Star Wars movie.

“Star Wars: The Force Awakens” is the first major Star Wars movie to be released in a decade, and the world’s nerds won’t shut up about it. The most recent trailer was viewed more than 128 million times in a single day, and over 200,000 tickets were sold during the first day of ticket sales in the U.K. last week, according to Lucasfilm.

The new movie is being pumped up too much and the excitement surrounding the film will eventually backfire. Fans are too nostalgic about the series, and no matter how amazing the film is, it’s not going to live up to their unrealistic expectations.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m pumped for “The Force Awakens.” My best friends and I waited a couple days until we were all together to watch the final trailer last week. It was so good that we watched it a couple times, bought our opening night IMAX 3D tickets right then and there, and then parted ways to respectfully rub one out and cry.

As I was sitting alone, touching myself and thinking about how amazing the trailer was, I had to remind myself not to get my hopes up. I’m sure Disney is going to produce an adequate movie that be somewhat satisfying, but there’s no way the new series is going to surpass or even match the quality of the original trilogy.

While the new films may not live up to the quality of the first three movies, it’ll be almost impossible for them to match the disappointment of episodes I-III. It was a different time in 1999-2005, where tent-pole movie franchises didn’t make or break movie studios. Now Disney knows that if they can pull this new movie off, they can endlessly expand the Star Wars universe by releasing countless spinoffs, sequels and even a billiondollar theme park.

Disney owns the Marvel Cinematic Universe, so they obviously know how to make a sustainable series that audiences will pay to see. The first two Avenger’s movies alone have grossed nearly $3 billion, according to Box Office Mojo. So there’s no doubt that the movies will be passable and at least watchable. Disney will get audiences to keep returning to the same franchise until they die.

But just because Marvel movies are profitable, that doesn’t mean they’re premium quality. Even though Marvel continues to top the box office, their movies have received criticism for having similar plot points, boring villains and cheesy one liners. If Disney wants “The Force Awakens” to top the original trilogy, they need to focus less on just making the movies watchable enough to sustain a franchise and actually focus on making them original and quality enough to stand on their own.

While the “The Force Awakens” won’t be as bad as “The Phantom Menace” and probably won’t match the quality of “A New Hope,” it will at least be enjoyable. Starting now, the Star Wars fans of the world need to lower their expectations and stop thinking “The Force Awakens” is going to be the greatest movie ever produced. I don’t want to hear anyone complain about the new movies this Christmas. If anything is going to ruin my holiday, it’s going to be my drunk, racist family — not a bunch of angry fanboys.